Happy Hump Day Mama’s! I wanted to share my thoughts about making your home a safe place for your kids. Now I’m not talking about outlet plugs or door locks, but I am talking about emotional safety. When I say emotional safety I’m talking about allowing your children to have the ability to make mistakes at home and learn from them in a healthy way. Children learn by making mistakes, just as we do sometimes as adults. Think back to when you were a kid, now count the number of mistakes you made…..I’m waiting. You ran out of fingers didn’t you? I know, me too. Your parents didn’t keep track of your mistakes and you shouldn’t keep track of the mistakes your kids make.
Kids need to be able to make mistakes and know that you as their Mama will be there to help them pick up the pieces and clean up the mess. This is how they build confidence to continue through the mistake and propel to their destiny. If you criticize them every time they make a mistake, you will hinder them from their natural curiosity. This will make them second guess themselves for fear of disappointing you. On the inside they may want to try something, but they will hold back because they are afraid of being a disappointment or being punished if they mess up.
If you find yourself scolding your child for every mistake they make stop! You may being displaying this behavior because you were treated this way as a child, or you may simply not know how to handle yourself in this type of situation. I’m not here to pass judgment. I’m here to give you options on how to handle your children when they make mistakes, so that you can both bounce back. Here are some suggestions:
1). Acknowledge the mistake- chances are your child already feels bad on the inside. Make eye contact with them and acknowledge the mistake.
2). Reassure them- let them know calmly that they are not in trouble because of the mistake.
3). Take a deep breath together- Sometimes a deep breath is all you need to remove negative thoughts and feelings so that you can focus on a resolution.
4). Talk to you child about the mistake- Ask them what happened and let them tell you without being interrupted. Ask them what they could have done differently and if they are unable to come up with a response, help them, as this will give them options in the future should this same challenge occur again.
5). Don’t dwell- Once the mistake is discussed do not dwell on it. It’s over. Mama’s as adults we do not like for others to dwell on our mistakes. Why do you think your kids would be any different?
It is my hope that you create a safe place for your kids to make mistakes, be kids and learn life lessons. I challenge you to make your home a safe place now, so as your children get older they can be confident in knowing they have you in their corner as their coach and biggest cheerleader.
Don’t wait, Live your best life now!