I hope you had a fantastic 4th of July Mama’s. As most of you know I am only blogging on Wednesdays this summer. I decided to do this because I have all 4 of my babies’ home with me (ages 8, 6, 2 and 10 months). I’m running our “Team Bouie” summer camp from home so blogging 3 days a week was a bit much for me (yes, I’ll admit that). During the summer hubby and I decided to read a book titled “The 5 Love Languages-The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman. We are on chapter 3, but the chapter I’ll talk about now is chapter 2 titled “Keeping the Love Tank Full”. This chapter talks about the ways we use the word love. Some of us use it rather carelessly and others use it when we really mean it. We all have certain basic emotional needs as adults and children. We each have what is called a “love tank”. It is my belief that more than anything a spouse wants to be loved and feel loved. You can have all the money, huge house, beautiful cars, but if love is missing you are losing out.
There are different things we can do in our marriages to make sure our “love tank” stays full. You may have an awesome marriage now, but trust me it can always be better and having a “love tank” that you can pull from only enhances your marriage. Now let me say that I am no love guru. My hubby and I have had our fair share of trials and tribulations in our 9 years of marriage. We have learned that it’s not about the flash and glam, but it is about the thought and daily actions of love that keep our marriage alive. We celebrate each other by doing random acts of kindness. Here are 5 things that we incorporate in our marriage to keep our love tank full:
· Find ways to meet each other’s needs
· Have free time alone without the kids or spouse
· Don’t withholding Sex & Have it very frequently
· Complement each other often
· Surprise each other with small gifts that show love and appreciation
Now this list isn’t inclusive of everything we do, but it’s something to get you started. We are not perfect beings and when we marry we are marrying another imperfect being. When we marry we have to realize that we have embarked upon a covenant that will require daily work. The real work is not in planning the wedding, but sustaining the marriage for years to come. If you don’t know how to fill your spouse’s “love tank”, ask them. I know that may seem weird since you married them and probably feel that you should know everything about them. Believe it or not people’s desires change and what once caused great joy and pleasure for your spouse may not be the case now. This is why you have to ask, but more importantly make sure you stay connected to your spouse. Staying connected involves communicating daily. It’s not a game of 21 questions, but it involves listening to your spouse, watching for the cues and clues they give you, almost like your baby when they first come into the world. It is my hope that your marriage is a happy and healthy one. I pray your “love tank” never runs dry and that you continue to put in your marriage what you desire out of it. Happy Hump Day Mama’s!
Don’t just live your life, Enjoy it!