Happy New Year Mama’s! I hope 2014 will be awesome to you and your family. Ok so let’s dig right in...If you are married then you may remember the vows you took at the alter or justice of the peace. Shortly thereafter your Pastor or Officiating officer said something to the effect that “two become one”. This means money and everything. Yep, if you have separate accounts then this blog post is specifically for you. As a child growing up I remember many older people around me saying “You don’t let your right hand know what your left hand is doing”. I never knew what that mean until I got married. These women were saying that you always keep some money for you, just in case your husband starts trippin’.
When my husband and I got married we immediately converted all of our accounts into one joint checking and saving account. Yes, it took a lot for me to not have a “stash” of sorts, but it boiled down to trust. Did I truly trust my husband and vice versa? When we got married I was not very good with money, so it was in the best interest to allow my husband to manage our finances. To this day we may have multiple accounts but we are both on them and have equal access at all times. How can you live as one in everything except money? Now I’m not placing judgment at all. I am simply stating my opinion. How can you set financial goals when you are in a “his” and “her” money situation.? When you have one account the money is ours regardless of who is the breadwinner, you are both equals. The bills get paid from one account and the spending is set for tithes, household bills, clothing, grocery, entertainment, etc. These are decisions you both play a part in and can then hold each other accountable to.
Seriously Mama’s ask yourself why do you have separate accounts? Is it a trust issue? Money management issue? Or selfish issue? Are you hiding something? Roommates live together, have separate accounts and split the bills down the center. Does this sound like you and your husband? Do you need a separate account so that you can shop as much as you’d like without your husband being in “your” business? Does your spouse know what you spend money on? Do you ever wonder what they spend “their” money on? We all know that communication is key in a marriage and you have an area lacking if there is no transparency with the money. It’s very hard to be on the same page when you are separated by money. Did you know that the number 1 reason marriages end is because of MONEY? Now I’m not saying that your marriage is going to hell in a handbag because you have separate bank accounts, but I am saying that you should think about the real reason why you have separate accounts and be true to yourself. Do you have your “stash” so you’ll be ok in the even your spouse leaves you? If your answer is yes then you have a bigger issue that money. You have trust issues. If you find that you have trust issues with your spouse you need to address them. If you and your spouse cannot navigate through these issues alone then it may be best to seek out the advice of a therapist. Good luck on your journey to being truly one flesh with your spouse. Happy Wednesday Mama’s!
Don’t just live your life, Enjoy it!